do you have to ask your fiance’s sister to be a bridesmaid

Dear OSB: Bridesmaid Issue

We’re having a small wedding with about 50 guests and I’ve decided to have my two sisters as my bridesmaids. Problem is, my fiance is insisting that I also ask his sister to be a bridesmaid, yet I don’t really know her and I also think two bridesmaids are enough for such a small wedding. Should I ask her or shouldn’t I? Please help!


Oh that’s certainly a tough one because it’s a question that depends on numerous factors. For instance, is your bridal party big enough already, is it important to your fiancé, would it make you feel overly uncomfortable, would she be interested in being a bridesmaid anyway etc.

As far as tradition is concerned, there is no etiquette rule that says you “must ask your fiancé’s sister to be a bridesmaid.”

But here’s what we think – You certainly don’t have to ask her, but for the sake of family harmony it may be best to include her. Whether you’re close to her or not, asking her to be a bridesmaid is a wonderful way to integrate her into your celebration.

It would also be an extremely nice gesture and help you get to know her better; after all she is going to be your sister too. Also making her a bridesmaid will win you tonnes and tonnes of wonderful in-law brownie points.

Alternatively, you could give her another “important” wedding role, so that she feels included.

That said, we would advise not including her if she has been overtly rude to you or she has indicated that she doesn’t want to participate.

You never know, she may even turn around and say that she would prefer not to participate, it which case you’ll look good and also be let off the hook!

Do you have a question for our wedding expert? Send your etiquette or wedding planning question to and we’ll post an answer for you!

{Image via KT Jean Designs}

Sign up to receive the One Stylish Bride Newsletter


Note: We will not share your email address with anyone.

“I’m Marcela, an Aussie expat living in Hong Kong. This space is where I share my love for weddings and bits and pieces from my family’s life and adventures. I love celebrating weddings, motherhood, family, travel and life’s simple joys.”